She knows this much, and more, herself. She wants details.
A Good Mother, apparently, can answer all laundry-detail questions with authority and accuracy.
"Mom, can I wash my gauzy white blouse with bleach?"
"Sure, Honey."
"It's very fragile though, and the material is thin. Will the bleach ruin the fabric?"
" I don't think so."
"What do you mean 'I don't think so'?"
"Probably not."
"But probably isn't good enough. I have to know whether bleach will ruin this blouse."
"Well, if you have to know for sure, why not google it?"
This turned out to be a Bad Mother comment. The exasperating effect was made even worse by the fact that she mistakenly thought I said 'googler it', which seemed to demonstrate the same near-criminal ignorance of computer lingo as I had of laundry questions.
In fact, I do know some things about laundry. Most of my information was acquired the hard way.
For instance, I learned that you do not machine wash an elegant wine-red velvet dress that has a graceful neckline and long sleeves and covered buttons. You send the dress to the cleaners. I've been able to generalize from that heart-breaking lesson to acquire the broader insight that you do not machine wash and dry any velvet.
The hard way also taught me something about a load of diapers and another load of ordinarily quite washable dresses. Loads of laundry like that - and perhaps this can be broadened to include all laundry - ought not to be left in a New York City laundromat overnight and into the next afternoon.
I've learned other lessons about bleeding dyes, and shrinkable knits, and things in pockets, and fraying seams.
I've learned lots, but not everything. I'm not a laundry psychic. I can't predict the future for every piece of clothing in the hamper.
I'd like to though. I would like to draw on personal knowledge to dispense solid laundry advice at will. But I don't want to learn much more the hard way. I prefer the easy way. And I think I know just what to do.
Arcane "Good Mother" Laundry Tips. I'll just googler it.
